What's normal?? "normal" is a chameleon.

     Over the past few years my coping mechanism has been to focus on what I have rather than what I've lost.  But being a "normal" human being, I have to admit, it was a process to finally except it.

     I have a friend who was experiencing some unexplained medical issues and desperately wanted to go back to "normal".  If I had magic powers I would cast a spell helping him to skip right over the frustration, sadness, anger and hopelessness; and right to the point where he would be at piece with what normal is at that time.

     Unfortunately, one thing I have learned is that we need to experience the emotions that come with change before we can appreciate  all of the good things in our life.

     I can still remember the anger, frustration and sadness when I first realized my days of walking the golf course with my bag on my back were over.  In time I learned to appreciate the course it's self, rather than how good I wanted to be at the game.  When I finally gave into a golf cart it was the the best gift I could have ever given myself.  And now my bike is the best of both worlds; allowing me to enjoy nature while using my own energy to do it.

     After years of learning to embrace my new "normal"  I'm sure you can imagine the flood of emotions I had experienced when breast cancer was thrown into the mix.  However, I didn't think I was allowed to feel anger, fear, or sadness, because I was supposed to be an "inspiration"  by proving I wasn't letting MS take me down.

     But truth be told, after the first time I looked in the mirror only to see my body disfigured, I was ready to throw in the towel and give that "inspiration card" to someone else.  The pain from the numerous operations to get me close to normal was nothing in comparison to the feeling of loss. My "normal" was gone forever.  Though once put back to "almost normal"  It was up to me to embrace my new self.

     "Normal" can change just like a chameleon changes color; however, what we do with it is up to us.  

      In my mind I'm a ninja...

     But since I know I don't have super powers, I work with what I have.

     So I came to the conclusion that I have two choices; I can mourn over my losses... or be thankful for all that I have.  I believe my "normal" is just Perfect!!

Have a great day!!

Christine:)